[IP] Spend $2 Bill, Go To Jail
------- Original message -------
From: Bob Frankston <bob3-19-0501@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: 8/4/'05, 15:39
I normally don't forward jokes but this resonates with this list in how people
deal with the unfamiliar. Perhaps most sad is that last line in which the son
shi
es away from those dangerous bills. Perhaps that's my problem, all this makes
me want to make more use of the twos because ... well, that's the crux of it,
why
does the idea of using these bills appeal to me. It's not that I want to annoy
people but I feel an obligation to expand people's world even with in a minor
way
like this. What is life about if not distinguishing itself from the unchanging?
From: Steve Wozniak [mailto:steve@xxxxxxx]
Sent: Thursday, April 07, 2005 02:53
To: Steve's Joke List:
Subject: Spend $2 Bill, Go To Jail
Ha ha, they missed a lot more good stories...Woz
http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/local/bal-md.olesker08mar08,1,76004.column?coll=bal-local-columnists&ctrack=1&cset=true
Text:
PUT YOURSELF in Mike Bolesta's place. On the morning of Feb. 20, he buys a new
radio-CD player for his 17-year-old son Christopher's car. He pays the $114
insta
llation charge with 57 crisp new $2 bills, which, when last observed, were
still considered legitimate currency in the United States proper. The $2 bills
are Bo
lesta's idea of payment, and his little comic protest, too.
For this, Bolesta, Baltimore County resident, innocent citizen, owner of
Capital City Student Tours, finds himself under arrest.
Finds himself, in front of a store full of customers at the Best Buy on York
Road in Lutherville, locked into handcuffs and leg irons.
Finds himself transported to the Baltimore County lockup in Cockeysville,
where he's handcuffed to a pole for three hours while the U.S. Secret Service
is call
ed into the case.
Have a nice day, Mike.
"Humiliating," the 57-year old Bolesta was saying now. "I am 6 feet 5 inches
tall, and I felt like 8 inches high. To be handcuffed, to have all those people
lo
oking on, to be cuffed to a pole -- and to know you haven't done anything
wrong. And me, with a brother, Joe, who spent 33 years on the city police
force. It wa
s humiliating."
What we have here, besides humiliation, is a sense of caution resulting in
screw-ups all around.
"When I bought the stereo player," Bolesta explains, "the technician said it'd
fit perfectly into my son's dashboard. But it didn't. So they called back and sa
id they had another model that would fit perfectly, and it was cheaper. We got
a $67 refund, which was fine. As long as it fit, that's all.
"So we go back and pay for it, and they tell us to go around front with our
receipt and pick up the difference in the cost. I ask about installation
charges. T
hey said, 'No installation charge, because of the mix-up. Our mistake, no
charge.' Swell.
"But then, the next day, I get a call at home. They're telling me, 'If you
don't come in and pay the installation fee, we're calling the police.' Jeez,
where d
id we go from them admitting a mistake to suddenly calling the police? So I
say, 'Fine, I'll be in tomorrow.' But, overnight, I'm starting to steam a
little. It
's not the money -- it's the threat. So I thought, I'll count out a few $2
bills."
He has lots and lots of them.
With his Capital City Student Tours, he arranges class trips for school kids
around the country traveling to large East Coast cities, including Baltimore.
He's
been doing this for the last 18 years. He makes all the arrangements: hotels,
meals, entertainment. And it's part of his schtick that, when Bolesta hands out
m
eal money to students, he does it in $2 bills, which he picks up from his
regular bank, Sun Trust.
"The kids don't see that many $2 bills, so they think this is the greatest
thing in the world," Bolesta says. "They don't want to spend 'em. They want to
save
'em. I've been doing this since I started the company. So I'm thinking, 'I'll
stage my little comic protest. I'll pay the $114 with $2 bills.'"
At Best Buy, they may have perceived the protest -- but did not sense the
comic aspect of 57 $2 bills.
"I'm just here to pay the bill," Bolesta says he told a cashier. "She looked
at the $2 bills and told me, 'I don't have to take these if I don't want to.' I
sa
id, 'If you don't, I'm leaving. I've tried to pay my bill twice. You don't want
these bills, you can sue me.' So she took the money. Like she's doing me a favor
."
He remembers the cashier marking each bill with a pen. Then other store
personnel began to gather, a few of them asking, "Are these real?"
"Of course they are," Bolesta said. "They're legal tender."
A Best Buy manager refused comment last week. But, according to a Baltimore
County police arrest report, suspicions were roused when an employee noticed
some s
mearing of ink. So the cops were called in. One officer noticed the bills ran
in sequential order.
"I told them, 'I'm a tour operator. I've got thousands of these bills. I get
them from my bank. You got a problem, call the bank,'" Bolesta says. "I'm
sitting
there in a chair. The store's full of people watching this. All of a sudden,
he's standing me up and handcuffing me behind my back, telling me, 'We have to
do t
his until we get it straightened out.'
"Meanwhile, everybody's looking at me. I've lived here 18 years. I'm hoping my
kids don't walk in and see this. And I'm saying, 'I can't believe you're doing t
his. I'm paying with legal American money.'"
Bolesta was then taken to the county police lockup in Cockeysville, where he
sat handcuffed to a pole and in leg irons while the Secret Service was called
in.
"At this point," he says, "I'm a mass murderer."
Finally, Secret Service agent Leigh Turner arrived, examined the bills and
said they were legitimate, adding, according to the police report, "Sometimes
ink on
money can smear."
This will be important news to all concerned.
For Baltimore County police, said spokesman Bill Toohey, "It's a sign that
we're all a little nervous in the post-9/11 world."
The other day, one of Bolesta's sons needed a few bucks. Bolesta pulled out
his wallet and "whipped out a couple of $2 bills. But my son turned away. He
said h
e doesn't want 'em any more."
He's seen where such money can lead.
(contributed to Woz by Scott Fink)
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