Re: Stef Slamon: Was:Re: Stef Slamon STOP
On Wed, Sep 10, 2003 at 06:12:48AM -0700, Stefanie Slamon wrote:
> On Tue, Sep 09, 2003 at 07:48:04PM -0400, Jeff Kinz wrote:
>
> > Actually Michelle was using the appropriate level of politeness
> > for that type of problem. You caused it and left her no channel
> > except an email list as a way to contact you.
>
> Well, that's not exactly true in this case.
>
> She got through to the person who admins the box I use for my domains
> and he passed it on to me. She coulddn't contact me on via the list
> because I wasn't seeing her posts.
I see - so she had No way to contact you at all. Must have been pretty
frustrating for her since your lack of caution and proper testing in
configuring your software was directly costing her money.
Remember you now live in a world where large numbers of people pay for
every byte of data they receive. It is incumbent on everyone to remember
this and act accordingly. This especially true when you are interacting
with an internationally distributed email list (such as this one.).
> One other individual on this list who also inadvertantly ended up
> on my blacklist managed to contact me without a vugarity, exclaimation
> point and threat filled email.
Kudos to that person for their balanced reaction, however, given the
circumstances, you deserved every bit of what you got. You still
owe Michelle an apology and a check.
You made the mistake. You caused the monetary damages. The LEAST you
owe Michelle is an apology. The most gracious response would be to
compensate her for the loss you caused. Frankly if it amounted to any
significant amount of money you would definitely be getting asked to
make up the loss.
>From what Michelle is already doing to filter out junk and large emails
it sounds like she is being very responsible and pro-active about
managing what emails she pays to download.
You may want to read Eric Raymond's "How To Ask Questions The Smart Way"
to see how he recommends handling these situations.
http://www.catb.org/%7eesr/faqs/smart-questions.html
Here is the relevant section:
BEGIN QUOTE #####################################################
On Not Reacting Like A Loser
Odds are you'll screw up a few times on hacker community forums ? in
ways detailed in this article, or similar. And you'll be told exactly
how you screwed up, possibly with colourful asides. In public.
When this happens, the worst thing you can do is whine about the
experience, claim to have been verbally assaulted, demand apologies,
scream, hold your breath, threaten lawsuits, complain to people's
employers, leave the toilet seat up, etc. Instead, here's what you do:
Get over it. It's normal. In fact, it's healthy and appropriate.
Community standards do not maintain themselves: They're maintained by
people actively applying them, visibly, in public. Don't whine that all
criticism should have been conveyed via private mail: That's not how it
works. Nor is it useful to insist you've been personally insulted when
someone comments that one of your claims was wrong, or that his views
differ. Those are loser attitudes.
There have been hacker forums where, out of some misguided sense of
hyper-courtesy, participants are banned from posting any fault-finding
with another's posts, and told "Don't say anything if you're unwilling
to help the user." The resulting departure of clueful participants to
elsewhere causes them to descend into meaningless babble and become
useless as technical forums.
Exaggeratedly "friendly" (in that fashion) or useful: Pick one.
Remember: When that hacker tells you that you've screwed up, and (no
matter how gruffly) tells you not to do it again, he's acting out of
concern for (1) you and (2) his community. It would be much easier for
him to ignore you and filter you out of his life. If you can't manage to
be grateful, at least have a little dignity, don't whine, and don't
expect to be treated like a fragile doll just because you're a newcomer
with a theatrically hypersensitive soul and delusions of entitlement.
END QUOTE #####################################################
--
Jeff Kinz, Open-PC, Emergent Research, Hudson, MA. jkinz@xxxxxxxx
copyright 2003. Use is restricted. Any use is an
acceptance of the offer at http://www.kinz.org/policy.html.
Don't forget to change your password often.