[IP] Confessions of an Accidential Patriot
Begin forwarded message:
From: "Meeks, Brock (MSNBCi)" <Brock.Meeks@xxxxxxxxx>
Date: November 2, 2004 11:15:53 AM EST
To: dave@xxxxxxxxxx
Subject: Confessions of an Accidential Patriot
The polls here in Virginia opened at 6 a.m. Not wanting to take
chances being stuck in a long line, I adjusted my morning schedule to
make sure I could be at the polling place, my children's elementary
school, just as the polls opened.
Nice plan, didn't work. By the time I drove the four blocks to the
school there were more than 100 people in line. It took me 45 minutes
just to sign in and another 15 to step into a voting "booth" (a small
pedestal with three sides about 18 inches high, just enough to keep the
touch screen of my voting machine out of the prying eyes of the nearest
impressionable voter).
But that's not the real story this morning... that all began nearly
the moment I stepped out of my car.
Heading into the school building and muttering something about "just
like Disneyland with no 'Mr. Toad's Wild Ride' payoff at the end,'" I
nearly collided with a man clearly intent on placing a piece bright
yellow paper in my hand.
"Sample ballot?" he called out with all the sing-song rhythm of a
Bourbon Street barker hawking strip club seductions.
"No thanks," I said gruffly.
Apparently his clone, standing about 25 feet away, didn't catch our
exchange because he pitched me nearly the same line but with an
important difference. "Care for a sample Democratic ballot?"
These so-called "sample" ballots have every Democratic candidate
marked with an "X" because, I can only guess, these clever Democratic
operatives don't believe people in their own party are smart enough to
recognize which candidates are actually running as Democrats. Or they
believe Republicans are so weak-willed or stupid that if they see a
"sample" ballot with only Democrats marked they might actually march
into the polling place and vote for "their guy."
I breezed by this political hack but suddenly stopped. I turned and
walked back to the first guy.
"Is that a Democratic 'sample' ballot, too?" I asked. The barker
blinked. "What a cheapjack little trick. You should be ashamed of
yourself." I turned and headed again to the polling place. As I
brushed by the clone, I said, "Are you sure you're 150 feet from the
polling place?" He answered, "You only have to be forty feet!"
"Then back up," I said, and went inside.
Standing in line people were joking, lamenting the lack of caffeine
and waxing nostalgic about elections past. "Last election, I came in
at 6 and was outta here by 6-oh-3," said the guy behind me.
Several people were examining their yellow "sample" ballots.
A cheery election official (he was actually wearing a badge that said,
"election official," I'm using journalistic license and assuming he was
'cheerful' given the smile on his face) was collecting the sample
ballots from people that were done with them, there were no trash bins
in the school hallway were we were all lined up.
And then with this handful of "sample" ballots, the election official
did an astounding thing. "Does anyone need a sample ballot?" he said
in a loud voice, holding up a fist full of the yellow, Democratic
"sample" ballots? "Anyone?!"
About a dozen people held up their hands and he passed out the ballots
and I nearly swallowed my tongue.
Turning quickly to the guy behind me I said, "excuse, please hold my
place in line, I'd like to talk to this guy," I said, motioning to the
election official. I didn't even wait for an answer.
I cornered the official, a smallish, older gentleman, who, had age not
stooped him would have stood eye-to-eye with me.
"Excuse me, sir, but I don't believe it's legal for you to be handing
out those ballots," I said. He looked clearly perplexed, a little
offended and when I pointed out they were "Democratic" sample ballots,
well, I thought he was going to be ill.
"Oh dear lord," he said and he licked his lips that had suddenly
become very dry. "You're absolutely right young man, thank you very
much."
He hustled out into the hallway, negotiating a tricky corner on the
slick linoleum with all the moves of an all-star halfback. By the time
I'd reinserted myself into the line, he'd already collected all the
sample ballots he distributed, apologized and explained himself.
And I just had to chuckle, at myself. I was surprised at my own strong
reaction to this polling place "wrong." And given my little tirade of
last week right here on this list, when I derided all the warp and woof
of those concerned about portraits of the president and vice president
being placed above voting booths in a rural Virginia office for those
voting early, I'm sure some of you will be chuckling as well. So be
it.
And in the spirit of full disclosure, I would have done the same thing
had this been a Republican "sample" ballot; I voted Kerry/Edwards.
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